Is there a calling that, if it were extended to you, you would know was not inspired?
I hope no one will complain that I’m posting about something personal again. Please bear with me. I promise it has nothing to do with my (still unopened!) package or unfriendly missing neighbor, which seems to have bugged many of you for some reason. And I’m not going to post about the insinuations that we’re not “real,” since Aaron, Miranda and Jenn have all addressed that. Honestly, people. But I keep turning something over in my head, and I can’t reach a satisfying conclusion to a problem that’s been bothering me. Here it is: I have never once questioned a bishop’s judgement before. After all, he’s the one with the authority to receive revelation and inspiration for the ward. Our bishop is a good man, and I truly believe that we have a duty to uphold and support his decisions. I know we are each entitled to our own opinions, and we have stewardship over our own lives, but when it comes to directing our lives as they affect the church, that’s his calling.
“For verily thus saith the Lord, it is expedient in me for a bishop to be appointed unto you, or of you, unto the church in this part of the Lord’s vineyard.
3 And verily in this thing ye have done wisely, for it is required of the Lord, at the hand of every steward, to render an account of his stewardship, both in time and in eternity.
4 For he who is faithful and wise in time is accounted worthy to inherit the mansions prepared for him of my Father.
5 Verily I say unto you, the elders of the church in this part of my vineyard shall render an account of their stewardship unto the bishop, who shall be appointed of me in this part of my vineyard.” D&C 72:2-5
I know that the bishop may not always make decisions that will please everyone in the ward, but I’ve always considered it a point of honor to never join the ranks of the murmering. Until now.
I’ve been released from the Young Women’s program after serving in it in some capacity for almost five years. I am very sad about it. I guess I can accept that it might be time to let someone else have that experience. I am going to miss those girls, and the wonderful times we shared. It was an awesome experience, but I can accept that the Lord has other plans for me. But, I’m having a hard time really and truly beleiving those plans include Nursery. I have a hard time even thinking about it. I don’t have kids. I don’t spend much time around toddlers, and that’s not accidental. I really don’t think I would be able to do a good job or put my heart into it, and I think that would be bad for the nursery kids and for me spiritually.
Whether we receive callings for our own benefit or for the sake of those we serve, I don’t see any winners here. And yet, I don’t want to have bitter feelings toward the bishopric and Primary presidency and I really don’t want to let anyone else down. I have always tried to be a reliable and dependable member, and I think it would be a bad thing if everybody refused callings they weren’t excited about and tried to pick and choose when they will or won’t support their leaders. I have shared my reservations with the bishop, and he says he understands, but still feels strongly that this is where I need to be. I feel like I’m at a fork in the road. I don’t want to start a habit of personal apostasy. Isaiah says that the Lord will guide us continually, but I feel uneasy about either direction I could go.
I haven’t given an answer yet, but I dread giving one either way. I’ve already asked myself what Jesus would have me do. Now I’m throwing the question out to all of you. What would you do?
